As human beings, we’re not born with great people skills. Infants are naturally self-focused, motivated by internally felt needs. We gradually learn relationship skills as growing children—socialized by our families, at school, around the neighborhood, and out in the world, supervised by adults. We learn...
An alternative to feeling shame We internalize the things about ourselves we hear from others. We hear their voices inside us praising, questioning, or shaming us. That’s called “self-talk.” When we are no longer with those trusted others, we still hear their encouraging or discouraging...
Shame is different than guilt. Guilt is a normal reaction to something we have done that is not okay, something that is wrong according to our own values. Shame is a deep feeling of not being worthy, not being normal, not being a good person....
What is it NOT? Most people think of a stage, a woman (usually a woman) flat as a board lying between two chairs, or clucking like a chicken, or repeating some strange words when a magician snaps his (usually his) fingers—that’s just entertainment. What IS...